Special

It’s happened - The Malahat Review has selected another piece of my writing for publication! My poem, “Special,” is about ensuring our actions in life are for ourselves, not for others. This wonderful periodical will feature “Special” in their upcoming Fall #220 issue.

Special

You’re not special. You almost
learned guitar once and
you used to be okay. Now
here’s the only song you
remember. Over and
over. Maybe you made a slam dunk
when nobody saw. But
you can make that shit up and
when you tell them, you want
them to care, but
they don’t because it’s
not extraordinary. No one
believes you.

You used to
be a witch but not
anymore. The craft became
all hype and now
you doubt yourself because
you’re not special.

Maybe you could
hear words more clearly and
believe them if
they weren’t delivered while
your hair was being brushed
behind your ears as you danced
with cigarette breath, dizzy
with whiskey.

You walked past David Duchovny at
the Sheraton in Vancouver.
You’re not special.

Have you been to Monaco?
Have you discovered
everlasting youth? Just remember
that you’re not special and
neither are they and
that’s because they don’t
have everything, which means
they don’t have anything.
You really did
go to school naked (it wasn’t
a dream. Right?)

It was fun for those months in
another country when you decided
to be a stripper for a minute because
you wanted to know what it would
be like, because you wanted to
experience it, and now it’s
just a story you’re not even sure
is true. You really did
fuck the woman thirty‐five years
your senior on that beach chair
at the resort in Mexico. But
when you tell them, they’re
mean (and now you won’t
admit that you thought she
was nice).

You want to find
a way to be special, more
special than your life
deserves to be? No. This
is just you and your life. And
that’s it.